I wonder if the famous and deservedly respected charity that first coined that mantra have ever regretted it? It was a phrase an owner quoted at me as she grappled with the impossible situation she found herself in with the dog she had taken on. It was an early case I took on some 40+ years ago, but I’ve never forgotten it as it was probably the first time I realised I was going to fail to reach that expected conclusion of happy owner and happy dog living happily ever after.
Barney
Barney (not his real name) was an adolescent male Border Collie from a local rescue. His owner had called me in as he had been snapping at her, but as our initial meeting revealed, that was far from the only problem.
Where to start?
Her garden wasn’t secure – her fence was broken. The prospects of getting it fixed were slim due to financial constraints. So Barney could only go outside on a lead. So he was getting zero access to any secure space where he could freely explore, eliminate and mooch about in, or run about in.
His Mum – Mary – had given up trying to to walk him becasue he pulled on the lead – and he was a young, strong dog, quite big for a collie. Mary was a tiny, birdlike 80 year old. She was physically vulnerable should she have fallen over, and she lacked the physical strength to just hold him and prevent him pulling her over. OK – management solutions like using a headcollar, long lines etc., and training, could have dealt with those things, but in the meantime she was at risk and onlead walks were a non-starter in the immediate short term. Mary had been using a check chain with Barney, but to no good effect.
We explored options for his exercise. She couldn’t let him off lead in the local park, as he had no recall and even getting him there was a challenge since he was tearing up the inside of her car, and became hysterical any time a person came close, having been taunted by kids one day when she had left him in the car ouside her house in order to give herself some respite from him.
He was also chasing lights and reflections in the house. A sure sign (if the snapping wasn’t enough) poor Barney wasn’t coping any better than Mary was.
She had opened our first meeting with “I can’t give up on him. A dog is for life isn’t it?” She had a steely determination to make things work out. She had experience. She had taken her previous dogs to training classes. She wasn’t – as I found with many owners – just looking for someone to tell her it would be OK to take him back to the rescue or rehome him. To validate a decision already made. She really wanted to make it possible for her and Barney to live together happily. And of course she loved this dog, despite the challenges.
Save A Paw rescue
The dog world was shocked recently by the revelation of an Essex based rescue having killed many of the dogs in their care. It was an appalling situation. People who had given up their dogs for adoption wanted to know what had happened to their much loved pets. They had assumed the dogs would be loved and cared for.
But on social media I was also shocked (although not very surprised) by the number of comments from people attacking the people who had given their dogs up for adoption. People like Mary were villified by the virtuous. How could a person ever give up their family pet? If they cared why would they? Steadfastly righteous in their belief a dog is for life. That they would never, ever give up a dog to be adopted or rehomed whatever the circumstances.
But the sad reality is not all situations can be resolved. The determination to keep a dog when all the indications are that the dog is very unhappy, or the children or other pets are at serious risk of being (potentially lethally) harmed can lead to very difficult conversations. Trainers and behaviourists can only do so much to help, whatever their ilk. Some situations are quite simply that the dog is not in the home that can meet his or her needs, and when that happens, behaviours such that Barney was showing will be the consequence. It’s just not a situation the dog can flourish in. It’s not only down to money. It’s not down to a lack of commitment or love for the dog. Love really isn’t enough.
Back to Barney
The list of training and management options I could have some up with would have been enormous. It was before the days we had secure fields or professional dog walkers, but it’s unlikely Mary would have had the money to pay for those things, even if they had been available. She couldn’t get the fence fixed. She couldn’t exercise him safely. Activities in her own home and garden were constrained by the lack of a fence. Some dogs could perhaps live in those conditions quite happily – but not a young, active Border Collie. They need to run. They need a ‘job’ to do. The light chasing behaviour could only be sorted if he was able to get more exercise and stimulation. We barely addressed the snapping. Mary’s more traditional approach to training involved physical corrections, but she had realised already this was going to make things worse if she persisted with them. Using treats in grooming him had very quickly resolved the most pressing situation he was snapping in.
But unless there was a way to give Barney a place he could access regularly during the day to potter about in, exercise off lead safely every day and be given an active job to do, even training options or what we would call “enrichment opportunities” nowadays, were likely to have a limited success in terms of meeting Barney’s needs. There seemed to be no way to make Mary’s home and situation work for him, and she just wasn’t able to change her home and situation. Indeed, at 80, her physical strength wasn’t going to improve.
What persuaded her in the end to rehome him was realising Barney needed a different home to flourish in and be happy. And that making the decision to find him a different home was OK. She wouldn’t be judged (well, at least by me, anyway) as a “bad” dog owner if she was able to give him a better life by making the decision to let him go.
For various reasons, not least because they were clearly not great at matching dogs with suitable homes, we were in agreement that taking him back to the rescue was not in Barney’s best interests. There were other question marks over the rescue inasmuch as there was a lot of anecdotal evidence they were only too happy to take back dogs in order to get another adoption fee from yet another unwary, well-meaning dog lover. Dog welfare was not high on their list of priorities.
Happy ending
The upshot? We found Barney a home with a couple who wanted a young dog to add to their household of resident collies. They were dog savvy, had a secure and safe large garden, were able to exercise Barney, and they competed in agility. Barney thrived and had a great life. Mary? She took on a small, doddery old terrier some weeks later. He stayed and, as far as I know, thrived. For life.